Right, well, I haven’t added to the “Grinds my gears” series
in a while, so while I’m still having this prolific period of positing stuff on
social media, I’ll take the chance to vent about a few things.
Two subjects that have really got on my tits lately are….
Firstly, the phrase: “It’s always the quiet ones you’ve
gotta watch out for.”
I have heard this phrase a million times. I mean, seriously
– Do people just automatically assume that introverts have no personality? Last
night some drunk guys offered to play doubles with us in the pub, and after
managing to impress my partner with a couple of incredibly fluky shots, I then
completely fluffed a pretty straightforward effort and, in frustration, chucked
my pool cue across the room along with a stream of obscenities. It was then
that I heard this particular phrase.
I’ll admit that sometimes I’ll intentionally do things that
I know will shock people, such as the aforementioned moment of frustration, or
just plainly as simple as muttering something inappropriate under my breath,
but just loud enough for the person next to me to hear.
The fact is; there are people in the world that you have to
spend time with before you see who they are underneath. In fact, I have met
several people who, like myself, aren’t the most vocal. BUT, weirdly enough,
they all have an actual personality beneath the layers of either intentional
reservation or lack of confidence.
I’ll also admit that, in fairness to people’s assumptions, I
am also part of the unfortunate race of human who’s default facial expression
indicates that they are considering chucking themselves in front of a train. It’s
okay, guys. I promise we do smile – Occasionally.
The second phrase(s) which really grinds my gears is….
“Eat more.” / “You don’t need to lose weight!”
Firstly, not once have I ever said that I’m trying to lose
weight – I just usually hear that particular phrase after I’ve mentioned that
I’m an athlete or attend a gym – Because, clearly, there is no reason for doing
either of those activities unless you’re unable to see your own toes.
In fact, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it was
near-enough a physical impossibility for somebody who is eight stone and over
six-foot to actually lose any weight. Nor will I ever attempt to test this
theory.
To be honest, I think the phrase “Eat more” is the one which
irritates me more. I mean, seriously, most of my family call me a Bottomless
Pit, usually after I’ve demolished four helpings of dinner and then catch me
having a bowl of cereal five minutes later.
IT’S CALLED METABOLISM.
I only became aware of – forgive me – the slight ignorance
from people in general towards metabolism, after a guy in my Life Writing class
last year explained how he was doing a project to investigate the stigma around
people who are incredibly skinny but can’t gain weight.
I can assure you that none of us enjoy freezing our f*cking
tits off (despite wearing four t-shirts under two hoodies) on a cold day. It’s
unfair. Leave us stick insects alone.
